Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Not so Wordless Wednesday

I thought briefly about doing a Wordless Wednesday and then realized there haven't been many words at all from us lately. It's been quite the past few weeks for G and I, and I would be lying if I told you there haven't been some extremely dark moments. The situation we have encountered in our new home is so beyond anything I've previously dealt with, I have experienced a whole roller coaster of emotions I didn't know I could.

For me, a true home body in every sense of the phrase, incidents that were so uproarious to the peaceful balance I've come to expect from my apartments, past and present, made me feel lost. I was scared. Scared to make a sound, scared to walk too "loudly," scared to have G or I make an impression (good or bad) on anyone in the building, lest I persuade another neighbor to agree with the character from the third floor - that somehow G or I were a nuisance in the building.

This person - this unhinged individual - was winning this stupid mind game he had begun. His verbal and physical threats were taking their toll on both G and I. I tiptoed around, I stopped eating, I herded G as quickly as I could out of the building. I tried to find odd hours to take her out so as to see as few people as possible. I tried to blend in and stopped living my life freely.

The saddest part is that as I began to modify my behaviors to avoid, avoid, avoid, I began to treat G differently. Don't make a peep, G. Don't hesitate in the hallway, G. Bend to this unyielding anxiety, G, and just play along.

Today, I was propositioned to resell my apartment, believe it or not. I would likely take a (large) loss, but I could be away from this person forever. I thought about it for awhile this afternoon and while I haven't figured out anything one way or the other, a friend/co-worker said something to me that really stood out: "There will be assholes anywhere you go. You can't disrupt your life because of this person's prejudices."

Sure, many people have said something similar to me over the past few weeks, but maybe this time I was more willing to believe it. I can't run from uncomfortable situations in life - sometimes the way everyone learns the biggest lessons is to simply face these things head on.

I know, ultimately, G and I will prevail. I have faith in this singular belief. G and I have done nothing wrong - G hasn't barked at a single pup or person in this building (okay, aside from the delivery guy!). I will involve the police again, if need be, and will not hesitate to work with a lawyer to use the law if it continues to escalate.

Something this whole situation has taught me, though, despite taking its toll physically and mentally, is that I am tough and I am surrounded by wonderful, reasonable people. I also have an amazing, amazing dog, who is at the top of her Adult training class that we began yesterday (we're aiming for our CGC certification!). She is smart, wonderful and the absolute light of my life.


9 comments:

  1. I've been thinking about you guys, and I wish we could do something to help! I once had a neighbor harass me (I just had Stella at the time). He and his wife(!) had just had a newborn baby, and I guess that huge life choice made him panic. This translated into him sending me weird baskets of questionable food in the mornings, leaving cryptic notes at my door, and being creepy in an elevator (he never touched me, thank god). I became fearful to stay in my apartment, and moved out for a week. But then I decided that I wanted to be able to live in my own apartment, and moved back in. Ultimately, I was able to deal with the situation by talking to the people who managed the condo board, and they intervened. I think that he was freaked out by the prospect of his wife finding out about this, so he left me alone after they talked to him. I no longer live in that building, but only because the studio space wouldn't accommodate my big family. All this is to say that people are crazy, and I'm so sorry.

    I hope that you can try to take care of yourself and G. without living in fear. It is not in this man's best interests to bother you (especially if he has a family!), so hopefully this one-time involvement with the police will be the end of things! How did things end up with the board?

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  2. That's truly sad that you are going through this. That guys needs to be bitch slapped for sure (or have a chihuahua bite his heiney. :) I think you are right by standing your grounds with this guy. Unfortunately, if they guy is already "unhinged", I'd hate to think he'd try something violent with you and/or G. What do the local authorities have to say about it or the apartment manager?

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  3. We too are homebodies & just the thought of going through something like this is anxiety inducing. Your home is supposed to be your "safe haven". I wish there was something that we could do, but please know that we are thinking of you & G. Oh & your co-worker is spot on :)

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  4. Thank you for continuing to keep us posted about your life. You have our support, and I know just the Chihuahua to drop off at this man's house. (But seriously, please let us know if there's any way we can help.)

    Your friend is right that there are assholes everywhere, but this man is an extraordinary one. You would be just as strong for making the decision to move as you would be for making the decision to stay. I'm sure everyone who isn't blinded by their biases can see how wonderful G is. I know you two will prevail, too.

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm glad you've decided to stand your ground though. This guy does sound ridiculous and ignorant. I know how it feels to live in fear that something will happen to your little pittie just because of the prejudices of other people around you. A friend had a similar issue in her building and had all of the neighbors sign something saying that her dog was not bothering them in any way. Just in case it ever did become a legal matter. My thoughts are with you and G!

    www.fortheloveofpitties.com

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  6. First - It is a SHAME for this horrible person to treat you this way. Second - Gosh, we totally understand how a situation like that can completely ruin your daily existence. It is not to be taken lightly in any sense. Third - Your friend is right. Stay strong, and keep winning people over. Getting G's CGC is such a great idea. We sure hope you can find some way to deal with this jerk.

    Kitty+Coco

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  7. I know exactly how you feel when others' prejudices affect how you interact with your dog. Schultz has a lot of social anxieties and it is very difficult for me to bring him in public to work out his issues because I don't want anyone to judge him unfairly. It breaks my heart when someone just sees his big head and stocky body and not his heart. Good luck with everything and trust G to be her lovable, well behaved, charming self!

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  8. Look at that sweet face. Who could ever be afraid of that?

    I pray you find peace and happiness. You deserve a home where you feel safe, comfortable, happy and can be yourself any time of day. I agree with others moving would not make you any less tough than staying. You shouldn't have to move, but if you decided to I think it would be ok too.

    We are wishing you all the best. Hope you have a good weekend.

    Emma

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  9. I forgot to tell you. Your little spotted nose is soooooo cute :)

    Emma

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